Several months ago, I got an ultrasound to rule out blood clots as the cause for my elephant legs post delivery of Cinco Vanias. I had a nice talk with the ultrasound technician about love, life and warm gel.
And he taught me something new. We entered into the arena of the troubles that lay ahead for me with four daughters who would one day inevitably reach puberty. He said to me, “It’s simple, just plant a cactus under the window.”
Certainly, I was perplexed by the comment. I asked for clarification and he explained that when his step daughter designated her bedroom window as an alternate exit to the front door, and conveniently only after curfew hours, he planted a cactus under her window. So if she continued to think that was a good plan of action, he saw to it that it would prove to be a painful one as well.
One day you’ll go to the bathroom while you’re pregnant and you’ll be holding your cervix in your hand. Yes, Ladies, apparently your lady organs have their limits and multiple pregnancies often lead to a prolapsed uterus. What does that mean exactly?!? Well, one day you’ll be at your mother’s house in New York City and you’ll go to the bathroom, as you often do now that you’re carrying yet another life. You’ll take care of business only to feel your cervix in your hand and freak out. You’ll call your Ob/Gyn and get whomever is on call since it will be after hours. You’ll describe no doubt what you know will require an emergency visit to the hospital because something is horribly wrong. Only to find out that this is one of those things they never bothered to tell you might happen. That’s right, I guess they figure why freak you out with what “might” happen…Instead just let you freak out when it does happen. Luckily I was young enough to practice those wonderful Kegel exercises and for the most part get my uterus back to where God intended it to be. So now I have saved you from one of many freak out moments that you’re sure to experience as a mother, now it will just be a little disconcerting.
We had an amazing time at the MommyOnStrike.com Launch Party in Charlotte, NC. We all got to meet some great women at the event. We laughed out loud at the movie and at ourselves.
I want to give a special thank you to all of our sponsors: Skin Elements, CJ Wax Studios, Care4Hire.com, Lake Wylie Sunglass Emporium, Lasting Erudition, Primerica and SeeMeSaks
The ladies enjoyed the sponsor giveaways which included facials, t-shirts, gift certificates, free memberships, books and more. We even learned about Vajazzaling which is all the rage in Hollywood (There will be a separate post about this one).
I appreciate everyone’s support at both the party and for visiting the site. The response has been more than we even expected and we’re glad you all are enjoying yourselves with a look inside our crazy world. I’ve also been getting a lot of requests to bring the launch party to NYC, my hometown, so we’re working on that, stay tuned.
Be sure to keep coming back every day when you need a laugh, a release and your girlfriends. We’ll be here!
The much anticipated launch of MommyOnStrike.com is finally here. And what better way to celebrate than to throw a party for 175 of my closest girlfriends. You’ve asked me so many times how I do it, which is what led to the idea for the blog in the first place. So it only seemed right that we launch the site with a private screening of the new Sarah Jessica Parker movie, I Don’t Know How She Does It.
Thanks to our great sponsors, which I’ll be revealing to you over this next week leading up to the event, we’re going to be giving away some great prizes and enjoying some delicious treats. This is an event that you and your friends are not going to want to miss. If you want to win admission to the event, you’ll need to be one of the first 175 ladies to complete the following tasks here at MommyOnStrike.com:
1. Like this posting
2. Sign Up for the Strike Registration
3. Leave a comment for one of the posts on this blog
Date and Time: Monday, September 19, 2011 @ 6:30pm
Where: Ayrsley Cinema, 9110 Kings Parade Boulevard, Charlotte, NC 28273
If you are one of the first 175 women to complete this, you will receive an invitation by email for admission for one person. Please bring your invite to the event and present it when you check in with our guest list.
Questions? Call 704-504-1091
Without a class on what to expect when expecting my first baby, I figured morning sickness would only occur during the morning. Silly me! Now after five children and having spoken to hundreds of Moms, I’ve yet to find a single one who has ever had morning sickness only in the mornings.
I was particularly lucky to have it all day. Yes, “All Day Sickness” doesn’t have as much of a ring to it. And maybe men figured that we might never help them procreate if we knew it would be all day sickness.
Whatever the reason, I want those women who are even considering one day on becoming pregnant, to know that you’ll likely have morning sickness. And if you do, you will most likely be sick all day! And you’ll just have to accept that the name is one of those big misleading things like “you’ll only feel pressure” when you’ll really feel pain…Don’t say I didn’t warn you!
Every night before I go to bed, I visit each of the children’s rooms to check on them. The initial purpose is to ensure that no one has stolen them while they slept (I watch a lot of Criminal Minds on TV), to see if they are alright (I’ve discovered my fair share of fever ridden children at 2am) and to see if they need readjusting (only restraints could keep my kids in place at night). But invariably, I end up just staring into their faces, truly in awe of how wonderful they are, how they deserve so much and how I have to deliver and can’t let them down. I like them best when they are sleeping….
Call me an opportunist or maybe just resourceful or possibly quick on my feet, witty even…When I forgot to put money under Reagan’s pillow in place of her tooth, I took advantage of the current economic climate to cover myself. I’m not even sure she understood what a recession was but I went with it anyway.
You see Reagan accosted me in the hallway about why her tooth was where she put it the night before and her highly anticipated financial windfall was not. I was caught off guard by the inquest because truly I had forgotten all about the ordeal that had ensued the day before. A wiggly tooth became a crisis, with big sister Madison offering or more like threatening to yank it out and little brother Chase, in horror of the dangling and bloody tooth that made his sister cry from panic. It was a long day and the tooth fought hard to stay but inevitably it lost the battle to a sandwich of all things.
So when the trauma was over, with tooth in hand, Reagan was free to plan how she would spend the money she would be getting very soon. In fact all of the kids joined in with ideas of what could be had with this impending financial gain. A piece of candy, a new book, an iPad even?!?!?
So you could imagine her disappointment or rather indignation when after carefully placing her tooth under her pillow, after hardly being able to fall asleep just in case she could catch a glimpse of me or Daddy doing the Tooth Fairy’s job, after counting all of the things she would soon be able to buy…Nada, nothing, zilch the next morning.
She knew exactly who to see, someone had not done their job. And so without missing a beat, when asked how such an atrocity could have occurred, I replied “It’s a recession, the Tooth Fairy has been laid off…”
It’s been two years since I first decided to start MommyOnStrike.com. Now rather than waiting for perfection, I’ve decided that you can all grow and evolve with us. This blog is for old mothers, new mothers, mothers-to-be and the rest of you who simply want to be let in on the inner workings of the Mommy World. Expect to laugh, cry, get mad and celebrate. I can’t be sure we’ll always agree, but I can assure you that you’re in for a helluva a ride! Let the rantings, I mean writings, begin…