When you have your first baby, if their pacifier drops on the floor you run to get it and make sure you’ve boiled it until it’s been completely sterilized.

When you have your second baby, if their pacifier drops on the floor you rush to get it and make sure you’ve rinsed away any visible signs of dirt in the sink.

When you have your third child, if their pacifier drops on the floor you stroll over to get it and make sure you clean it with a good helping of your own germs by sucking it clean in your mouth.

When you have your fourth child, if their pacifier drops on the floor you finish what you’re doing which could include another forty five minutes of Criminal Minds and then you wipe it off with your hand and pick off any visible dirt.

When you have your fifth child, if their pacifier drops on the floor you glance over at your child and tell them “Hurry up before the five second rule expires and then kiss it up to God!”

My how your standards decrease with each additional child…